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  • Writer's pictureTX Cigar Pirate

It's just a toy. Your Crotch Goblin will survive without it.

When I was a 15 in 1982 I took a seasonal job stocking shelves at Toys R Us. The closest one to me was a 28 mile drive. That my mother made twice a day for 4 days a week for 5 weeks. That was the year the cabbage patch dolls came out. I had never seen what debased horrors can be visited upon another human before that time. What women did to each other in order to get a doll was horrific. I actually saw a middle aged woman pick up a baseball bat and wade into the mosh pit of people swinging and screaming, "My grandbaby will get one of these."

I am now 54 and have seen many more horrors visited upon mankind by their brothers and sisters. But I have never set foot in another Toys R Us.

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